The Transylvania Times -

Helpless Without Southern Gentlemen


I want to thank our southern gentlemen, sincerely, for their overwhelming southern “protection.”

They have protected me in the past from the attentions of our black brothers, the dangerous public restrooms full of transgenders, the sinful women’s clinics that perform abortions. Yes, thanks for their “protection.”

My babies thank them too for all those precious school vouchers and those remarkable public/private charter schools that they assure me are so much better than the public schools I attended.

I want to thank the gentlemen for protecting me with their attack rifles when...

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